Super Bowl Sunday!

Tough luck, losing team (and associated patriotic fans)…

I took a couple of days off, both from posting and from the job search.

The Dread, bolstered by a cold, had come on full bore. I couldn't get myself out of bed, much less send out my resume or be bothered to look for jobs.

It's a funny thing: where at first I'd been almost relieved to not have a job, I began to miss it, and to think on how much time I'd wasted. Eight years of forty hour weeks. It may not seem like much to people who've had to work two jobs or longer hours, but to me it's been my entire working life. Everything before that was completely insubstantial and everything after, at this point, is hidden by fog.

I'm left with fog and a quarter of my life wasted, and when I imagine my next job, I can't see anything lasting so long. I was going to be a lifer; if I'm not a lifer there, how can I be one anywhere else? So I slept in, stopped keeping score, stopped trying to be positive.

The fog lifted a bit today, even though I'd been planning on taking the weekend off — a ridiculous idea given the "work" I'd been doing during the week. After sleeping in to an appropriately late time, my girlfriend and I went furniture/grocery shopping. It was nice getting out of the house with her without feeling guilty about not spending every waking moment trying to chase down a job that I'm not sure I want. After we got home, she helped me finalize my cover letter and resume, and I send them off to a couple decent-looking prospects.

Finally, a stab at contact with the world of the working!

We'll see how it goes.